The Confluence Effect: What to Do When Everything Happens at Once
Have you ever had a moment where you were perfectly calm, and then, in an instant, chaos erupts? The phone rings, the dog barks, three urgent emails land in your inbox, and a notification flashes on your screen. Suddenly, that calm is replaced by a rising tide of stress. You feel overwhelmed, your heart rate climbs, and your first instinct is to just grab a coffee and hope it all goes away.
If this sounds familiar, you’ve experienced what I call a confluence—a moment where multiple demands, distractions, and pressures converge on you all at once. It’s like sticking a fork in a power outlet; you get a sudden, jarring shock to your system.
For many of us, the result of a confluence is immobilization. We shut down. We melt down. Faced with a dozen things demanding our attention, we end up doing nothing at all, paralyzed by the sheer volume of it all.
The long-term solution is, of course, to prevent these situations. But life is unpredictable. The real trick is knowing what to do in the moment it happens.
The Woodpile Strategy: Your Action Plan for Overwhelm
I used to liken the feeling of a confluence to a massive woodpile suddenly collapsing on top of me. I'm buried, and all I can see are dozens of logs—tasks, worries, interruptions—pinning me down. The instinct is to panic, but panic doesn't move the logs.
The solution is to have a strategy. When that woodpile falls, here’s how to get out from under it, one piece at a time.
Step Back and Switch Off. The very first move isn't to tackle the problem, but to create distance from it. Physically step away from your desk. Turn off your phone, close your laptop, silence the notifications. Give yourself 60 seconds where nothing new can come at you.
Just Breathe. In the rush of a confluence, our breathing becomes shallow and quick, fueling the body's stress response. Consciously slow it down. Take a few deep, deliberate breaths. This sends a powerful signal to your nervous system that the immediate danger has passed and it’s safe to think clearly again.
Assess the Mess. Now, look at the pile. Out of all these logs, which one is the heaviest? Which one is cutting off your air? Instead of seeing an impassable mess, identify the single most important or urgent item. What is the one thing that, if you handle it, will make the biggest difference?
Do One Thing. Don't try to multitask your way out of the chaos—that’s what caused it. Pick up that one piece of wood and move it. Answer that one critical email. Make that one important phone call. Complete a single task from start to finish. The momentum you gain from that one action is often enough to break the paralysis and allow you to calmly address the next thing.
Building Resilience for the Future
The good news is that recognizing your pattern is the first step toward managing it. Once you know you're susceptible to these moments of shutdown, you can prepare. You can tell yourself, "Okay, if this happens again, this is my plan."
Over time, this practice builds a kind of "stress muscle." Each confluence you successfully navigate is like a repetition at the gym. It’s not pleasant in the moment, but it makes you stronger and more resilient for the next time.
This leads to powerful, life-altering changes:
We learn to slow down by default, not just as an emergency measure.
We learn to take on less, realizing our capacity has limits.
We learn to say "no" to things that don't serve our primary goals.
We learn to consciously give ourselves space in our calendars and in our minds.
I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t perfected this. I still get slapped by that invisible hand of overwhelm from time to time. But because it’s a topic I put a lot of attention into, it happens less and less.
The goal isn't to eliminate confluences entirely—that’s impossible. The goal is to see them coming, to have a plan in your back pocket, and to trust that you have the strength to pull yourself out, one piece of wood at a time.