Is It a ‘Hell Yes’? How to Honour Your Commitments and Your Well-being
Have you ever felt a pang of regret the moment you’ve said ‘yes’ to something? That subtle, sinking feeling that tells you you’ve just given away a piece of your time, and perhaps your peace, to something that doesn’t truly light you up. Agreeing to things can feel like a reflex, but what if we approached our commitments with more intention, treating our ‘yes’ as the precious resource it is?
Learning to navigate our commitments is a journey. For many of us, it’s a path shaped by past experiences—times we’ve overcommitted, felt overwhelmed, or had the uncomfortable task of letting someone down. These moments, though difficult, are powerful teachers. They teach us the true value of our word and the importance of aligning our actions with our inner capacity. The goal isn't to say 'no' to everything, but to create a life where our commitments are a source of energy, not a drain on it.
Designing a More Flexible Life
One of the most powerful shifts we can make is to move from rigid certainty to graceful flexibility. When an invitation arrives for an event or a concert in the future, how can we honour our potential desire to be there without locking ourselves into a decision that might not feel right when the time comes?
Consider building a buffer into your commitments. This can be done through open and honest communication. Instead of a definite 'yes', you could try: "I'd love to be there and I’m putting it in my calendar, but I'll have to confirm closer to the date. Is that okay?" This approach respects both the person inviting you and your own future self. It’s a practical way to design your schedule with compassion.
This mindset can extend to other areas of life, too:
Travel: Opting for refundable fares or flexible bookings.
Projects: Building in extra time for unexpected delays.
Social Plans: Choosing casual meet-ups that are easier to reschedule if needed.
By creating these small pockets of freedom, you release the pressure of expectation and allow yourself to show up more fully and authentically when you do commit.
The ‘Hell Yes’ Filter
Author Derek Sivers offers a beautifully simple yet profound filter for decision-making: “If you’re not saying ‘HELL YEAH!’ about something, say no.”
This isn’t about being selfish; it’s about being self-aware. When something makes you feel expansive, excited, and energised—a ‘hell yes’—you owe it to yourself and others to give it your full attention. These are the projects, gatherings, and connections that fuel your spirit. Committing to these things feels less like an obligation and more like an honouring of your true talent and passions.
Conversely, if you feel hesitant, ambivalent, or drained by the thought of a commitment, it’s likely a ‘no’. Saying ‘no’ to these things creates the space needed for the ‘hell yes’ moments to enter your life. It ensures that when you do show up, you bring your best energy, strengthening the fabric of your community rather than stretching it thin.
The Connection Between Freedom and Well-being
There is a profound link between our sense of autonomy and our mental well-being. As one of my dear friends, Nita, often says, "We are always free." This simple statement is a powerful reminder that, ultimately, we have the agency to choose how we spend our time and energy. Feeling trapped by our own schedules is a fast track to burnout.
Embracing this freedom means navigating the delicate balance between honouring ourselves and respecting others. The key is to do it with grace—to communicate clearly, to act with integrity, and most importantly, to not overwhelm yourself. Sometimes, a quiet walk in nature is all it takes to gain the clarity needed to know what truly deserves your energy.
True freedom isn't the absence of commitments. It's the presence of conscious, intentional choice. It’s about building a life where your calendar reflects your values, and your ‘yes’ is a true and joyful expression of your spirit.
What is one area of your life where you could create more flexibility to honour your well-being?